DANGERS OF DO-IT-YOURSELF DIVORCE
The percentage of divorces that include at least one party not being represented by an attorney has skyrocketed. A large reason for this is people watch many TV shows and movies depicting court matters. Seeing so many shows about court proceedings make people feel comfortable doing it on their own. Connecticut court’s website also offers How-To Publications on handling your own divorce.
So why not go your own way? You save the cost of an attorney, can work directly with your spouse to come to an agreement, and can end up with a divorce settlement quickly and easily.
Despite the growing trend for people to do your own divorce there are solid reasons not to. A divorce is an emotionally jarring experience. Other than a simple no asset/ no children divorce it is best to leave divorces to the experts.
An experienced divorce attorney, like Attorney Jerome Goldstein, has important skills you need in your divorce. These include knowing about finding and handling Hidden Assets, handling Negotiations, Settlement Offers, Party Weakness, Support, Custody, and Alimony Rules, and knowing, interpreting, and properly applying the relevant court statutes, rules, and legal precedents.
HIDDEN ASSETS
The State of Connecticut requires both parties to a divorce to complete and exchange financial affidavits at the start of a divorce. All assets and liabilities of the spouses must be disclosed along with other information. However not every party to a divorce operates truthfully. Some see certain assets as theirs alone and not part of the joint marital property. This is often the case in divorces where a party to the divorce is self-employed. Interpreting these financial affidavits takes experience and training that only an experienced divorce attorney would have gained. The layperson is not going to notice hidden assets. An experienced divorce attorney also has other told at his or her disposal to determine the truth of the financial affidavit of the other party. These include interrogatories, demanding additional production, deposing the other party under oath. Doing your own divorce could result in your not uncovering hidden assets. Attorneys also have a network of experts they can rely on to help ferret out hidden assets. Those hidden assets then do not come into play in the division of property when you try to do your own divorce. Doing your own divorce can lead to your not getting your due in your divorce.
NEGOTIATIONS
If You Can’t communicate
As a litigator an attorney is trained to get under the skin of witnesses and cause them to bring their emotional side forward. When you try to negotiate your own divorce, especially against your spouse’s attorney, you have nothing to protect yourself from those emotions. Better to retain and use your own attorney to protect you. That way the two attorneys negotiate without the parties emotions in centerfield. You also help to alleviate your spouses legal fees, which you may end up paying for. Due to the nature of pro se litigants attorneys prefer to handle negotiations at the courthouse when one side is not represented in the divorce. That drives up the cost compared to telephone negotiations between attorneys. The court may end up deciding that you are responsible for those costs.
TERMS OF A SETTLEMENT OFFER
You may think what your spouse offered to you as a settlement agreement for your divorce sounds good. That is until you understand the long term implications of the settlement. Attorneys are trained to know what should go into a divorce settlement and what terms could later lead you to hidden costs. A perfect example is not including any alimony in an agreement. In Connecticut, failing to include even a single dollar annually of alimony in a divorce agreement can res
ult in your later not being allowed to ask for alimony in the future once that agreement is entered as an order of the court. Yes you can read statutes that detail the law and think you can handle your own divorce. Knowing the cases, regulations, and judicial preferences that interpret those statutes is the domain of the experienced attorney. Don’t make the penny wise/pound foolish mistake with a Do-It-Yourself divorce. Hiring an experienced divorce attorney can save you much more than the cost of that attorney. Hiring an experienced divorce attorney like Shelton, Connecticut Attorney Jerome N. Goldstein can go a long way to making the right decision.
WEAKNESS
To Help Even The Odds
Spouses do not always come to court with equal strengths. All too often one spouse is the alpha with the other accepting that the alpha is doing what is best for all. That too often leads to the weaker party giving in to the stronger party to the weaker party’s detriment. For this same reason this is why I do not recommend the use of a Mediator in a divorce unless both parties are represented by an attorney. Too often the stronger party in a divorce overpowers his or her spouse and runs the mediation. The weaker party thinks that the Mediator would tell them if the things the parties agreed to were not fair. That is not true. A Mediator is not allowed to take sides. An experienced divorce attorney will make sure that their client gets their due in a mediation and the actual divorce. The attorney has the experience to know what the court would award in a divorce based on fact patterns, applicable laws, and their interpretation by the court.
PROPER SPOUSAL AND CHILD SUPPORT
While the court uses a child support guideline to determine child support orders it takes an experienced attorney to properly interpret the financial affidavits, prepare the guideline worksheet, and argue for the results. Spousal support or alimony is even more complicated with an ever-changing judicial view on how it should be awarded. An attorney trains to understand and fight for the best results for you.
RELEVANT COURT RULES AND LEGAL PRECEDENTS
Seeing a multitude of court matters on television and at the movies does not make you an expert on handling legal matters. Hollywood’s job is to entertain, not provide reality. Even when a movie plot that seems to match your divorce facts the movie is likely not based on the laws of your state. The court offered Do It Yourself Divorce Guide is a great way for the public to better understand the divorce process.
Because Experience Matters
However it is not the end all and be all publication on the handling of a divorce. Everyday the court hands down orders interpreting and sometimes re-interpreting the laws detailed in said Do-It-Yourself Divorce publication. Understanding a particular judge’s style and knowing the latest cases will effect your divorce. Only an experienced divorce attorney will have the proper training and experience to best protect you. They are not learning from your one case.
An experienced divorce attorney, like Attorney Jerome N. Goldstein, has years of representing divorce and family matter cases. These attorneys understand what goes on in family court. They also are constantly studying, both formally and informally, how to best represent their clients.
Still thinking of a Do It Yourself Divorce. Better to retain an experienced divorce attorney like Attorney Jerome Goldstein. If you need a consultation on your legal matter please call us at 203-929-7773.
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