As published in the column “Ask the Attorney” for a monthly publication.
In consultations I have been asked whether the “Do It Yourself” publication for doing your own divorce, as offered on the State of Connecticut’s Judicial Website, (see Resource Links Page for web site link), will allow me to handle my own divorce without the expense of an attorney?
The answer is, about as much as a medical book on “How to Do an Appendectomy’ will allow you to remove your own appendix. The court calls people who handle their matter without an attorney a “Pro se” party. I call them a “P.S.” party because they so often have a “postscript” problem they failed to handle properly and they need to go back to court later with an attorney later to fix their divorce at a higher cost than if it was done right from the start.
The Court’s publications are guidelines that allow those with simple and straight forward matters to handle their own legal matter following the guide. The answer you don’t know is whether your problem is truly simple and straight forward. Hiring an experienced attorney will let you protect yourself from those pitfalls.
Most people believe they understand the legal system. You see it on television daily between the news and television dramas. It seems familiar. Real life does not work itself out cleanly over a one hour episode like on television. There is always someone around to throw in a curveball. The publications you asked about do not address those curveballs. Failing to address and resolve those curveballs can lead to problems later on.
A good example is when the husband and wife want to arrange custody with one spouse and have liberal visitation for the non-custodial parent. Most people believe they are done. But what happens when the custodial parent’s life changes and the “liberal and flexible” visitation is no longer followed. Too often a divorced parent remarries to someone who does not want the ex-spouse around. That becomes easier to do when there is no detailed visitation to be followed. The custodial parent simply fades the other parent out. Now you are paying child support for a child you never see. An experienced attorney would know to plan for this and protect you.
The publications do provide a good introduction for the lay person to understand the divorce process. Using the publication allows you to better interact with your attorney as you work your way through your divorce process. Life is not a television show and it is good to have these guides to help you get through it. Just be certain to hire an experienced attorney to make sure you are guided down the right paths of your divorce trial.